Monday, January 28, 2013

Post Apocalyptic Roller Skating Is Badass

In honor of my friend Cat (of Matt And Cat Have Back Issues fame) watching it for the first time tonight, I present 1989's Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force.

From the back of the VHS case:

Move over Mad Max, the Roller Blade Warriors mean business. In the not too distant Apocalyptic future, among the Cosmic Order of the Roller Blade are both protectors and crusaders. They're armed with swords, skates, and the power of the great Smile Face. They're also blonde bombshells and virgins.

They wander the wasteland, fighting off marauders, the ERG stack (a giant piece of machinery run by a monstrous mutant) and the sword play of death-stalking males. They must survive and destroy the evil that lurks all around them - a place from where no woman has ever returned alive.

Yes, this movie is really about roller skating warrior nuns that worship a smiley face.